26*
Wednesday, August 5, 2009 at 10:26AM 
Karma, the first child I ever metIt's a hot summer afternoon here and the children are off from school for a Nepali holiday. The boys are sitting out on the front porch playing checkers and carram while a few others are painting pictures. Small Nisha and Bhukta are playing hopscotch in the front yard, while some of the girls are sitting in the living room listening to songs on the radio. I'm sitting here in my room with the four-year old crew: Shanti, Maya, Santosh, and Sabita, on my bed eating wasabi peas and listening to them giggle hysterically as they pop them into their mouths while their eyes water and their mouths try to deal with how spicy the wasabi is. In moments like these I feel like I live in a little slice of heaven.
These children have taught me a kind of love that I never knew and that I don't always know how to explain in words. They make me laugh and smile all day long and when their cheeks snuggle up to mine or they fall asleep in my arms, I feel whole and complete, like I don't need anything else in the world. There are 26 of them now, 26 little spirits that have somehow found their way into this home and I thank God and the powers that be, and all of our supporters every single day for that.
But there are times that are hard. Yesterday a group of villagers showed up at our home with a six year old little girl carrying her 18 month old brother on her back. They were found late at night crying near the bus station, naked and abandoned with no parents, with no sign of anybody. When I walked out the front door to see what all the fuss was about the baby boy was laying on the concrete sidewalk wailing his arms and legs and screaming and the little girl looked at me wide eyed. All the villagers started talking over one another to explain the story, how they had searched far and wide and there wasn't a sign of anyone.
I picked up the baby and put a glass of cool water to his lips. He gulped the entire glass down in seconds, stopped crying and cuddled up to my chest and I thought, "oh God, please help me. How many times can I do this? How many children can we take into this home?" And then I thought of the 26 that live here now, how they looked when we found them. I shiver when I remember how they too were once children like this. But they've changed and grown and I don't think of them in the way that they once were. I see them playing board games and painting pictures and singing songs and tucked into bed at night clean, and bathed with food in their bellies and those are the things I like to write about, our sweet little home, our beautiful little children, our blessings. As much as I try to savor what we have and what we're able to give there is a deep knowing in the pit of my stomach, that beyond the boundary of our sweet little home there is still a lot of suffering. There are times when I burn inside because I know deeply that every single child deserves a life like this and I know that for every child in this home, there are thousands and thousands more that haven't been given a chance. And I don't have it in me to see a child suffer. I get frusterated and angry and I don't have patience anymore. I don't want to wait for things to change. And I take a deep breath and I tell myself every day "do what you can, just keep doing what you can."
I have a meeting with the Ministry of Women and Children's Welfare tomorrow morning concerning this case and am waiting on police reports while talking with some other local NGOs, all the while sitting in this beautiful little home with my 26, trying to understand this world, trying to understand how I ended up here- 8,000 miles away completely and utterly in love with these children.
Reader Comments (7)
Maggie,
I told Jen Lemen when we met at BlogHer that my secret (not so secret now, huh?) fantasy is to spend my 40th birthday in Nepal helping out there with your wild and precious 26. I don't know if I can hack it, though. Wow.
I'll write you with more details the event in Rotterdam we've been emailing about. For now, this post is just magical to me. I was a stepmother for years and so know that you've captured the heart full to bursting *and* the heart about to break all in one blog entry,
Thanks for that. Just keep doing what you do... and others will join you, too!
Thanks for the beautiful work.
Rebecca in Switzerland
oh. brother. sometimes. i. need. to. take. a. deep. breath. shed. a. tear. and. ask. god. for. help. this. can. all. be. so. hard. so. heavy. but. then. somehow. there. is. hope. *inspire hope sister*
Instinctively cool water to the lips, brings peace to a child now free to cuddle... Stay open to feeling the particular needs and instinctively give what you can, and follow the path that determines what you can do for each child. You made your DO gaslabi brother smile today, no doubt and brought a tear to my eyes. I believe when you look back on your life Karma will be one of your greatest joys. Love you!!
while you may not fully understand how you ended up 8,000 miles away, you know exactly how you ended up there--you followed a dream. a passion.
you are such an amazing soul. and without doubt, you'll do the best that you can for each and every child you encounter.
i wish i could spend my 40th this year in nepal, helping you with your children. i dream about spending time with you someday, photographing your children and the great things you have done and continue to do. someday. someday.
thank you for your goodness maggie and showing us what life is really about!
i know one day i will get to visit your 26, which may be 126 by then. you are amazing. i wish i had the fearlessness that explodes from you. you are incredible. thank you for helping children. doesn't matter where they are from, they human beings and deserve love. and you, well you deserve a healthy happy long life.
Hello to Karma!!!What a great photo,Karma......How are you? I know you are well and happy,with Maggie taking care of you all. Please drop me a line when you can.....Love to all. And Maggie,you are wonderful to take in children in need.....your a blessing and a angel...
Oh Maggie....yet again your passion and love for your kids brings me to tears. This is a beautiful post and you are doing an amazing thing. You will have lots of fun with Harry - that age is really really special.