a note from mom

Mom and village women dancing in Nepal

Everyone always asks me what my parents are like and what they think about all this.  Most commonly asked question in an interview... "How the hell did they let you do that?"  This is a beautiful part of my story but I never really know how to answer the question.  I say things like, "they're different, my childhood was different or, you should talk to them." Here's a letter to a young girl thinking about taking a gap year  from my mom that I recently intercepted.  

Frankly, my desire was that each of my 3 daughters, connect to their own passion, so that their passion would drive their lives.  To wake up feeling passionate about life, one's own life, and to feel life as an adventure with you directing the course.

It is a journey that includes introspection, and a willingness to be honest with oneself.  Know yourself, and not judge.  All 3 of my daughters were offered opportunities to unplug from the world including family, social, educational and mental expectations.  To let all these drop away is frightening, yet freeing.  Because as those structures come down, YOU as your own source comes forward, and helps direct your path.

To take some time out/off from the world, and live below the radar, and off the grid, and truly connect to your SELF is not something most parents are comfortable with. They become frightened of the short sight, and don't trust the longer goal/objective. But, there is an intention for this unplugging... not just a form of procrastination and sense of being lost.

My daughter Kate worked on an organic lettuce farm in Hawaii.  My daughter Libby just took a semester in New Zealand.  Most parents and families are only comfortable when children follow the dotted line of social expectations.  I have always felt the decade of the 20's was a time to connect your Self to the world, and to explore.  This can be done cheaply, especially when there are no committed relationships and no obligations.  So, keeping yourself free, allows time to be a little 'selfish' in a healthy definition of selfish. No debt, and working to save some money that you value is important. Clothes Labels are not important in our house.  Being comfortable with the 'unknown' and being a good judge of healthy risk vs stupid risk is a must in the journey of 'self discovery'. It is almost like being an entrepreneur of your own life.

Start with taking long weekends, and going hiking, backpacking or some other form of inexpensive adventure, that reconnects you with nature.  The natural world allows your soul to remember and to commune with you and your mind.  Go to the library, and read some books that inspire and support you.

Stay drug free and be careful of surrounding yourself with people who are into drama and victimhood.  Like attracts Like, so surround yourself with people/places that inspire you.

1000 people on 1000 different paths all going in the same direction..toward love and light. Connect to and trust your own instincts.

My daughter Kate has a wonderful blog.  katedoyne.blogspot.com  She has a different style than Maggie, but read the archives, and she will give you additional courage to BE YOURSELF with all the ups and downs of being the artist of your own life. She may help inspire you as well as Maggie.

It is truly a GREAT time to be young.  Stay away from news/news media and TV as much as possible. It is a brain dead megaphone. I hope this helps.  

My very best wishes, Nancy Doyne.

Comments

[jenberry]

i just knew your mom was incredible. you had to come from somewhere spectacular.

[gg bling]

um. wow!!!!!!!! xxxo

[karen]

Your mother is so insightful ... and loving. I bet your parents are celebrating the gorgeous blooms of their garden (& walking through it barefoot and happy!). So glad you have the blog to share your life with us!!

[Margaret]

That sounds just like my Aunt! :) Awesome! Love you all and also agree Kate's blog is a great read too!

[andrea]

Wow.

Your mom just set a new bar for me as to what I aspire to as a parent.

Totally inspiring...

[simone]

your mom is awesome! I hope I can be the same to my daughter.

[Phyllis]

Just today, ( no kidding!) I mentioned to my husband that I wondered what Maggie's mother is like. I knew she had to be an inspiration to Maggie. I read somewhere in a yearbook " as is the Mother,so is the Child"....amen to that!~~~:)

[A London French Grocer]

Hi Maggie
I wrote to you when you were in England to ask you to "Thanks your Parents" for the "education" they have given you.
As you and Kate (I don't know Libby) are two amazing person and this can only come from the love and "education", the way you have been brought up by your parents.
Now I know and understand better the courage and wisdom of your mother, but I do understand that Dad is not far away (I was going to write "behind" but it is probably "alongside" as this can only be achieved by a couple that worked together with their children. What an inspiration.
Congratulation to them and you

[Emma]

This is so beautiful.

Can she be my mom, too? ;)