a note from mom

Mom and village women dancing in Nepal

Everyone always asks me what my parents are like and what they think about all this.  Most commonly asked question in an interview... "How the hell did they let you do that?"  This is a beautiful part of my story but I never really know how to answer the question.  I say things like, "they're different, my childhood was different or, you should talk to them." Here's a letter to a young girl thinking about taking a gap year  from my mom that I recently intercepted.  

Frankly, my desire was that each of my 3 daughters, connect to their own passion, so that their passion would drive their lives.  To wake up feeling passionate about life, one's own life, and to feel life as an adventure with you directing the course.

It is a journey that includes introspection, and a willingness to be honest with oneself.  Know yourself, and not judge.  All 3 of my daughters were offered opportunities to unplug from the world including family, social, educational and mental expectations.  To let all these drop away is frightening, yet freeing.  Because as those structures come down, YOU as your own source comes forward, and helps direct your path.

To take some time out/off from the world, and live below the radar, and off the grid, and truly connect to your SELF is not something most parents are comfortable with. They become frightened of the short sight, and don't trust the longer goal/objective. But, there is an intention for this unplugging... not just a form of procrastination and sense of being lost.

My daughter Kate worked on an organic lettuce farm in Hawaii.  My daughter Libby just took a semester in New Zealand.  Most parents and families are only comfortable when children follow the dotted line of social expectations.  I have always felt the decade of the 20's was a time to connect your Self to the world, and to explore.  This can be done cheaply, especially when there are no committed relationships and no obligations.  So, keeping yourself free, allows time to be a little 'selfish' in a healthy definition of selfish. No debt, and working to save some money that you value is important. Clothes Labels are not important in our house.  Being comfortable with the 'unknown' and being a good judge of healthy risk vs stupid risk is a must in the journey of 'self discovery'. It is almost like being an entrepreneur of your own life.

Start with taking long weekends, and going hiking, backpacking or some other form of inexpensive adventure, that reconnects you with nature.  The natural world allows your soul to remember and to commune with you and your mind.  Go to the library, and read some books that inspire and support you.

Stay drug free and be careful of surrounding yourself with people who are into drama and victimhood.  Like attracts Like, so surround yourself with people/places that inspire you.

1000 people on 1000 different paths all going in the same direction..toward love and light. Connect to and trust your own instincts.

My daughter Kate has a wonderful blog.  katedoyne.blogspot.com  She has a different style than Maggie, but read the archives, and she will give you additional courage to BE YOURSELF with all the ups and downs of being the artist of your own life. She may help inspire you as well as Maggie.

It is truly a GREAT time to be young.  Stay away from news/news media and TV as much as possible. It is a brain dead megaphone. I hope this helps.  

My very best wishes, Nancy Doyne.

Guianu and Chiran

Guianu (photo by mom)Introducing... one of my best friends, the main caretaker of the children, incredible cook, and by far the most patient, kind, and innately good people I have ever met in my life.  

Guianu is the backbone of our home.  She makes it what it is.  She loves the children as if each of them are her own. Whenever I am feeling frustrated or impatient she magically appears and makes everything better.  She works endlessly and tirelessly.  She is a genius when it comes to raising children.  Knowing that she's there loving, nurturing, and taking care of our children, puts my mind at ease more than anything in this world.  

Raised as one of 11 children in an untouchable family, Guianu never went to school.  In her late teens, she was working on a construction site in the main city of her district when she met and fell in love with this man...

Chiran (photo by mom)

Chiran, who also happens to be the mason who built our home.

Chiran left his home (a remote village in the everest region) at the age of 10 in search of work.  He travelled all over Nepal working on different construction sites and by the time he was 25, became a mason in his own right.  We chose Chiran, a very respected mason in our village, to build our home and it was one of the best decisions we ever made.  Chiran, Guianu and their two beautiful daughters, (Rashmi and Laxmi) didn't have a home of their own and were renting a room in a mud hut up the street so we asked if while they were building the house, they wanted to move in with us.  

Before we knew it, the house was complete, and we had become a family.  Just when I was wishing and hoping that they would stay with us forever,  they asked is they could stay on as permanent staff and we all lived happily ever after.  These two are the blessing of a life-time.

fairy cottages

A few months ago on a day off from school the children scrounged around for old pieces of wood, collected scraps from around the yard and spent an entire afternoon making fairy villages.  One of my favorite things to do is watch children in this space; creating, building, imagining.  I've watched them play for hours with nothing but a piece of rope, a few stones, or a stick.

In a world without video games, and television, internet and cellphones, fancy toys and entertainment systems, how would we pass our days?  What would we create?  I have a feeling there might be a lot more fairy villages in the world.  

This is what I've been contemplating and putting a lot of thought into lately.  How can we utilize, and embrace the powerful tools that come along with modern technology and globalization but still preserve the innocence and the beauty that exists in remote indigenous communities without all that?  Can we find a healthy medium? How can we alleviate poverty without necessarily westernizing the world?

I dream of creating a life, a home, a school, and a community where both exist and are equally valued.  I hope our new school looks a bit like this fairy cottage.

A beautiful documentary (recommended by dad) relating to this topic that I just watched- Binta and the Great Idea.

abc's in motion

this makes me laugh every time.  maybe when she's 5 she'll be able to do this standing still... i remain hopeful.

Happy Birthday